I saw a quote online that inspired me today.
“Going for a run isn’t mommy being selfish…it’s mommy being AWESOME!”
After a long week of trying REALLY hard to wean my strong-willed 2 year old son, I threw in the white towel and declared “That’s it! I will be breastfeeding forever!” In all seriousness, nothing would make this kid happier than if I strapped him to my chest and just let him suck away all day.
Guilt over my feelings flooded my heart.
I knew that long-term nursing was good for my son, but I also knew that deep down inside, I was ready to have my body back. Knowing that weaning is not something that happens over night, I had given myself 3 months, right up to his 2 year birthday. I had 2 weeks to go, and after all the crying and grabbing and screaming and me running out of creative ways to distract him, I gave in.
I felt defeated and dare I say it…annoyed and in need of a break!
My running shoes were on and my ear-pods securely in. I positioned myself by the front door, ready to burst out the moment my husband walked in. As soon as he did, I gave him a hug, helped him settle in and BOOM! I was out the door. My running playlist drowned out the temper-tantrum going down behind the door as I ran down the stairs and out onto the street. I quickly found my favorite trail and made my way up into the Southern Nevada mountains that surrounded my home. Side note: I have been blessed with an AMAZING husband who understands and supports my need to run.
Peace engulfed me.
Anxiety left me.
I felt like I could run forever. All of the frustration that had built up over the last week just dissipated into thin air. I felt my strength, as a mom, a woman, a wife and business owner coming back.
THIS…is why I love running. It has the ability to set things right.
This run was extra special, in that a huge storm had just passed through Southern Nevada. This is such a rarity, and the beauty of it is breathtaking. As I climbed my trail, I looked up ahead of me just in time to see the dark rain clouds split and the warm rays of the sun peak through. What a privilege to be here in this moment.
This is life. This is mothering. This is running.
Sometimes, there are dark clouds that hide your light, at times making you feel trapped with dim hope. But storms never last. There is beauty to be found in them. And the sun always peaks through.
I smiled and picked up my pace as I headed home, because ultimately home is where my heart is.